{"product_id":"waiting-big-beautiful-obituary-shirt","title":"Waiting for One Big Beautiful Obituary Shirt | Vital Threads","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eYou already thought it. Now wear it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eThis is not a subtle shirt. It's a verdict — three lines of vintage gold typewriter text on premium dark canvas that says exactly what a lot of people are thinking and nobody is saying out loud. Deadpan. Unbothered. Completely uninterested in explaining itself.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eTucked inside the back collar, visible only to those who earn it: \u003cem\u003e\"Nature always corrects itself.\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003eYou'll know. They'll wonder.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Build\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eUltra-soft 4.2 oz combed and ring-spun cotton. Side-seamed for actual shape — not the boxy, twist-after-one-wash kind. Shoulder-to-shoulder taping. Tear-away label. Five colorways. Sizes XS–3XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Guarantee\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e30 days. If you don't love it, we replace it. No forms. 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